Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Exciting things at The DigiChick!!

Check out these two flyers! There are some exciting things going on at The DigiChick!

Check here for more information about The DigiChick CT call.

And look at this one!

Check here for more information about The De-Zine Logo Contest.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Great news and not so great news

I have some great news new nephew is here!! My sister was scheduled to have a c-section this coming Friday, but apparently Grady (his name--isn't it cute!) wanted an earlier birthday. Her water broke at 4am on Monday morning and they did the c-section at 11am. Here's a pic of super cute Grady:

Ok, so the picture is with me for a minute. My hands aren't cooperating and I thought it was best to just get the pic up. lol

Baby and Mom are doing well and the whole family is thrilled to have another boy around. Poor Will (my brother's son) was getting outnumbered fast. For a few months, the numbers will be even. Of course, then our 2nd little girl will be born and the girls will have the lead again. As it should be, right? lol

now...not so great news.

I went to the rheumatologist today to see what the plan is. Basically, he told me to start taking 10 mg of Prednisone in the morning and then 1 Extra Strength Tylenol every few hours. What that amounts to is that I'm not going to have much of anything to help me through the next 2 or so months. Tylenol is useless for me--it's no different than swallowing a Tic Tac--and 1 every few hours. uh, yeah, ok. Prednisone. Oh, Prednisone and I have a history, which is what sent me off the deep end today. Prednisone was the first thing they gave me when they finally realized (years ago) that I had arthritis. Because of Prednisone (not Prednisone alone, mind you--I know that I have a lot of responsibility there), I began the upward climb that led me to the weight that I am now. Not great. I had been feeling fairly good about myself--I've lost 13 lbs since getting pregnant...not because I'm trying but just because my body is freaky. I knew that it would reverse itself at some point (hello, I'm growing a person), but I was hoping that I'd at least be heading in the right direction after the baby comes. Enter Prednisone. I could easily gain 30-50 lbs in the few months that are left of my pregnancy, and watching what I eat while on Prednisone doesn't seem to make a bit of a difference. Not so thrilling. Yeah, I cried for at least 2 hrs of the 2.5 hr drive home from the doctor today. lovely.

Here's the honest to God truth (thank God for blogs...where else can I pour my heart out without feeling selfish or whiney or needy of attention? For all I know, nobody even reads my blog!)... Even though we had the ultrasound last month and I've been feeling the baby move lots, I've been worried sick. At around 24 weeks, NSAIDS (like the prescription Motrin I've been on and other anti-inflammatories) can close the hole in the baby's heart where blood goes in and out. Eventually, that hole will close on its own--when it's supposed to. That's not now. Even though both my rheumy and ob have told me that I'll be ok to take the prescription Motrin until 24 weeks (this coming Friday), I have been terrified that I'm doing something that will hurt my baby. All because I'm being selfish because I don't want to live in pain. Let me be clear--the Motrin definitely isn't taking away all of the left hand is barely functional. But it (the Motrin) lets me function, at least for now. So now I'm feeling like I've been selfish and horrible to risk something happening to my baby. Add to it now that I don't want to take Prednisone because I don't want to get any fatter than I already am and you've got a migrane and 2+ hours of crying in the making. I'm sure that some of this is being fueled by pregnancy hormones, the fact that I haven't slept much in the last month, the fact that Maggie has been difficult (to put it nicely) for the last month or so, and the fact that with my new nephew I'm much more aware of this little person growing inside feels more real somehow. The reality is, though, that this has been building and coming and I'm just not sure what to do with it.

I know. What I have to do with it is accept it for what it is--yet another challenge...another way for me to reach for help where I can find it...and to prove that I am stronger than this. Look at all I've already beaten. Hell, it's not cancer--it's just pain. And potentially only 8-12 weeks of pain. Once the baby is here I can make different decisions about my medical care. All of those are logical things, though. Right now, there's an elephant in the room and it's making me want to just curl up in a ball and cry and sleep for a few hours.

Maybe I'll go do that. Maggie will be up early (as she always is lol), and I want to be myself for her. She's too important and too special for me to spend too much time wallowing in myself.

Thanks if you've read this far. Don't feel the need to do or say anything. I just had to get it out. Chris worries and nobody else really knows what to do or say if I ever share this stuff, so there it sits in my head. There's not enough room in there for it right now, though, so I'm glad that it's out, at least temporarily.

Have a good night. Hug your little ones. Be thankful for the blessings that you have been given--even though I'm struggling at the moment, my life is VERY VERY blessed. I'd be a fool not to recognize the bazillion blessings that I've been given. Perhaps the biggest one is the knowledge that I have someone bigger and better than me to help me through this--once I get over myself and get past the pity party. Tomorrow. It'll be a better day, right? Right. Most definitely. Good night.